Good...

It's way to easy to get caught up in the hard stuff, to convince ourselves nothing good happens.  We see horrible things happening on the news, we stress about making ends meet,  and in my case my son's illness dominates the negative recesses of my soul. I remembered something tonight.  A beautiful memory that reminded me of the beauty in life.  It made me think that maybe its time to let those memories stand in my mind to remember beauty and what is truly important.

My poor husband some days, I must drive the man half crazy.  I am not a small thinker.  I think big, he's much more detail oriented. This whole memory thing started because I started going crazy trying to plan a vacation that would be some huge memory for my kids.  Eventually he talked me down from Disney World or Yellowstone. No Jackson Hole or Grand Canyon.   It was quite easy really we started talking camping and I remembered Ostego State Park.

Ostego State Park is probably my first vacation as a child I really remember.  Sure I was 6 and romanticized the whole thing so while my mom remembers how dirty the dirt was (?) I remember the flip flop of my shoes, eating frosted flakes it styrofoam bowls w/ my dad and the really cool camp sites right by the water.  I remember walking in the woods and store across the railroad tracks.  I remembered what truly is important in life...The time we take just to be together.

It was so good just to remember the smell of a northern Michigan morning. Suddenly I felt myself thaw a little.  Memories they just came rushing back.  The perfect Christmas at my Grandma's house.  Our family changed forever after that but I will always have that picture in my head. Grandma cooking a turkey and ham. My uncle Brian smiling sitting in the porch (it was actually a room we called the porch). Dani taking food orders, Grandma's Christmas village, Mom and Dad in their jammies on Christmas eve.

The perfect kiss in the snow, my 2nd speech in speech class Jr year. I was so terrified but half way through I realized I kinda liked it.  Watching Exorcist w/ my friends Tori and April in 8th grade and then doing makeovers and listening to music. In case your wondering April always had the most awesome music collection. Cruising Wyandotte w/ Pam and Laura.

Riding the Iron Dragon w/ my dad, My mom taking me to see Billy Ray Cyrus during the achy breaky heart craze. Roller blading w/ Brad, The first time I got walked in softball (that was the high point of the season for me).   Running the 200.  My first crush and the 20 that came after that. Renting the pontoon at Cumberland Lake and how good the grilled chicken tasted we grilled that day.  The fans yelling Lou at my first Tigers game.  Uncle Mike introducing me to the Jr Bacon Cheeseburger.

My point in all this is that maybe I didn't have a perfect childhood but the crap doesn't stand out. Sure I can remember broken friendships and all that but its nothing compared to Trick or Treating w/ my dad or going up North for the annual Mothers Day trips. 

I cant fix Robbie's disease.  I can't make his awareness of his differences stop.  I can't guarantee the future being bright for all of us.  I can't make every day a trip to Disney World.

I can hopefully make our highlight reels amazing.  I pray they will remember the smalls things. Pool playdates at Miss Tara's pool, smoothies and popcorn for dinner on movie nights, Their first ride on a roller coaster,  the times they ran around playing "zombie cowboys", the mac and cheese birthdays, just the presence of their grandparents in their childhood.  I hope they remember the giant pieces of Toarmino's pizza we ordered just to show them the slices are really 12inches long.

I don't know  what exactly the future holds for us.  It may be a hard way to grow up. I just want them to look back and have a beautiful simple memory to go along w/ every Disney World/Grand Canyon.

To the runners, the spectators, the families affected and changed forever, the city of Boston my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours tonight.